I have cleaned all buddies.Missing you and 2 other black cats.

Hey, how is everything going on, melon? There is about 2 weeks, the Christmas is coming. I took every toy stuffs a big shower , and wish them have a clean body to enjoy the Christmas. Then the moments makes me missbyou..No.matter how I tried to forget you, I failed.. I tried to not mention you in front of my relatives , but they always want to hear your news from me. Until one day, I met my 2 old best girl friends, I talked to them... But . no wonder , I can't forget you in my mind, everything about me effect me coming tears, and my tears with lots of enmotion. Everything about you is in my mind. May be is the reason I loved  and love you so much,  no one can change my heart. I don't want to accept any other else .

December. 1st, 2016

Well, a new month starting. Ya, time fast, time heals. I've felt a lit bit more peaceful than last damn month. I duno how about you. Yesterday Andre has post the new apartment photos to wechat, and he is going to find a new roomate to share the room.I duno what can I do but there must be nothing I can do. So I just hope to share the contact and expect someone see that.

Today, my mum finaly asked me why we have to apart. I bearly not gonna answer her. But for avoid her worries, and keeping ask, I said I did something make Kevin back to America.. I told her if I can't get what I have,I can't allow someone else have. That's me. Actually, I still feel pain for talking that with comming tears. But I bear my tears in eyes because I want to put this in my heart. I don't want to talk more by upset. I know that must be upset your parents too.

Hopefully I still can write my diary here to instead bothering you. You know that's who I am.

God bless you, my fish girl Kat

Melon, Kat has dead.I feel sad but what can i do? Indeed the weather is so cold 10 degree here, and she almost doesn't eat foods. I took her back to JM from SZ but the result is like hurting her. Even we gave her swim in the big pool... What this tragdy again!  My dad has buired her in the mud, and i gave her the eggplant ceramic disc next to her. That was the first gift you brought to my parents. Hope she feels you love her. and she will safe to live in the fish hraven. God bless my fish girl.

Remember the thanksgiving day with you last year

Melon, happy thanksgiving! Thanks you came to my life once ever, thanks I knew you in my life, thanks all you gave me and taught me when we were together! Thanks you gave up me now! Thanks to let me know how much I can sacrificed for my most love, as I said I wanted to be the only and most unforgetable woman in your life ever. Hope you can say thanks I made you back to the US with your family. Your family is the sweet members who care you most.

Wish you the best!

Love you forever!

Kat

miss daddy Kevin!

Even though I still feel tears can't stop when im alone, and upset to losing you, I put them comfortable on my bed, they can sit like very good kids, making me so fucking miss you.  Even I know I'm just talking to a machine who won't give me reply, I still keeping writing to him, want he can listen I tell the world how much I love him, all my mind is him! No matter what, we keep writing diary to you read, and email you. 

Wish you the best!

It's been a week, I hope everything is better for you now,

I miss you everyday, but things can't go back. I hope u feeling better right now. I know I sent you messages, and you received it. No matter you read or not, I just expressed what I want to say to you, and that's the unique of me in front of you, not one can instead of you in my heart.

Spent 4 days, almost finish sorting and cloating the picture of 2 years

Melon, these days, I don't want to do things except that miss you. But I realize i have to collate and sort the pictures for this 2 years we took. I sorted in different groups, including we lived in the old house, new apartment, the time we met from 2014, we had party time, painting, made foods, exchanged gifts, birthdays celebrating time, the sleeping pictures,  fishes frog babies we had, you traveled to jiangmen, all places we went, all the things we did together... I opend a new Dropbox account and share it to you, if you have time, and want for a memory, you can click it, only the picture between us.

I dont know what can I do for you now. I know I such split your heart out. But I hope you can still find good memories from the pictures, that happened between us.